“ANTM”’s Brittany Brower Says Watching the Netflix Documentary Triggers Emotions of ‘Not Feeling Good Enough’

NEED TO KNOW

• America’s Next Top Model alum Brittany Brower says watching the new Netflix documentary about the reality show is “triggering”

• “It brings back so many emotions like not feeling good enough, all the stuff we went through, it’s a lot,” the cycle 4 contestant says in a series of TikTok videos

• Speaking with PEOPLE exclusively, Brower addresses participating in one of the show’s most controversial photo shoots in which the models switched ethnicities

America’s Next Top Model’s Brittany Brower says it’s “triggering” to watch Netflix’s new docuseries about the reality show and its many controversies.

In a series of TikToks shared on Sunday, Feb. 22, the cycle 4 contestant reacted to the three-episode documentary, Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, which was released on Monday, Feb. 16.

“I’m not gonna lie it’s been hard for me to commit and watch it,” the 43-year-old said in one clip. “It’s triggering. It brings back so many emotions like not feeling good enough, all the stuff we went through, it’s a lot.”

Brower, who finished in fourth place during her season of ANTM, also claimed that host Tyra Banks did “not take any accountability for anything.”

“Yes, it was a totally different time then,” she said. “There’s a lot of things that should be forgiven and looked over, but what she doesn’t do is take any accountability for how they were with all of us and how we got completely used.”

In a follow-up video, Brower claimed she and the other models “went through hell,” though she admitted that there were positives to the experience as well.

“There were great things about it, too,” she says. “I don’t want to be a negative Nancy here. There was so much good. I have the best friendships now and so many good people that I have from the show. So many doors were opened and I did so many great things afterward, so I can’t hate all of it.”

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Brower criticizes Banks for being “fake” in the documentary.

“Just say the truth,” she says. “Just say, ‘You know what? We were making a reality show. We were trying to make it spicy and we get ratings. And yeah, we cross the line sometimes.’ It’s just weird how she tries to defend herself and not really taking accountability … She is so beyond fake.”

During cycle 4, which aired in 2005, Brower was part of one of the show’s most controversial photo shoots in which the models switched ethnicities (Brower portrayed a Black woman).

The former contestant, who now lives in Florida with her husband and two sons, says that she and the rest of the models “didn’t really think much about it” at the time.

“At this point in society, in 2005, it wasn’t something yet that was so like, ‘Oh my gosh, no, you can’t do that.’ And we were young … It just wasn’t thinking that this was something that was horrible. We didn’t know.”

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Brower tells PEOPLE that while her experience on ANTM was “hard” and “awful,” she was able to move past it.

“I think that some people just give it a little bit too much of a hard time on the show or they give it too much power,” she says. “I just don’t see anything that was done on the show could ruin someone’s life. I don’t see that.”

She continues, “I think that it was a tough experience, it was hard. Definitely not fair, definitely ulterior motives with a lot of stuff they do, but it was an experience and that’s what you just chalk it up to. Not all things in life are perfect.”

Read the original article on People